Back To Basics

My jaw dropped when I heard that Jimmy Fallon released a children's book and joked he did all the work except for the illustrations. The TV host says "there is no moral" to his children's storybook. As an even bigger conspiracy theorist, I believe Jimmy Fallon's writers decided to put a cast around his wedding finger as a greater plot for him to milk the injury for sympathy and then not want to take the cast off after months and months of interviewing hot female guests. But that's beside the point. Jimmy Fallon is an overqualified author and doesn't have what it takes to be the next Richard Scarry. He's just not scarry enough.

I'm delighted that my children's book The Vampire State Building is good enough to be promoted on the fake reality show Lifestyles of the Richard and Famous. I want to pitch my reality show to CNN. Richard Quest is CNN's foremost international business correspondent and qualified to host the show. I'm next after 50 Cent is featured on Lifestyles of the Richard and Famous because you can 'get Rich-ard or die trying' as a metaphor for wanting me really bad. Everyone wants someone like me who works really hard. But The Vampire State Building is not a new book. It was originally written and illustrated back in the Stone Age of 1995.

Beyond The Blue Kite is a stoned theory, unpublished, about a dude whose troubles with drugs and struggles with mental illness cause conflict with family and friends. The book fits new adult fiction and includes elements of pop psychology. It's received knowledgeable and enthusiastic reviews. Robyn from Beta Readers believes "to have such an insight into a sufferer’s world may in fact help families and loved ones understand their thought processes." She concludes "It's the most polished and well-constructed novel I have had the pleasure of beta-reading. There is no question in my mind that you are ready to self-pub or submit to an agent/publisher. I found the story profound and would recommend it to my friends and family." I guess it's back to basics.